Alcohol

I’ve consumed a lot of alcohol. Not too sure of the exact amount and not too sure of when I did it, but I did it. I was at my little brother’s graduation today. It saddened me deeply. I feel like I just graduated, and I’d give anything just to go back to those times. This is probably why I drank so much tonight.

I don’t know where to go from here. Life is so mysterious to me. I feel like if I put all my efforts into obtaining money I won’t be happy and if I don’t put any effort into I’ll feel worthless. What the fuck do I do? As I was listening to the speakers at the graduation I couldn’t help but think, “Don’t tell these poor children this, it’s only false hope”. How’s that for pessimism.

I really am going to try and be more optimistic, but I can’t promise anything. There’s too much bullshit out there and the good times are too short-lived. Once you graduate high school, there’s nothing but disappointment and heartbreak out there for you.

MTV Movie Awards

Yes, Andy Sandberg is hilarious. But fuck MTV and the ridiculous shit they organize. How could High School Musical 3 beat Slumdog Millionaire in anything? Have I seen either of those films? No, but I can assure that the film of the year at the Academy Awards pisses all over each and every corner of High School Musical 3.

And it’s not even that shit that pisses me off. It’s the rappers and celebrities that are forcing themselves to be there even though deep down inside they hate everything MTV stands for. I don’t know how the dark side got to Andy Sandberg and other various celebrities, but I’ve come to the inevitable realization that MTV creates and destroys everything. That shit show they call the VMA’s is nothing but a bunch of junkies crammed into a building.

Choosing the Night’s Mate

It seems that every time I go out I am disappointed with human nature. I have a girlfriend whom I love very much, so every time I go out drinking I find myself as sort of a bystander. Everybody else tries desperately to find someone worthy of making love to, and I stand there and watch all the fails and passes of the evening. And let me tell you something, I am not happy with the way people interact.

It’s always the good guys/girls that are standing in the corner, hoping that someone decently attractive approaches them, and it’s always the shitheads that are too stupid to realize that all they are doing is fucking their lives up by impregnating some dumb whore. I see so much shit that pisses me off at bars it makes me want to bottle every single person in there over the head.

So guys, if you’re a decent hardworking man and can’t find the right girl, don’t go to bars. Every girl in there is an utter whore. You’re wasting your time.

Girls, if you’re trying to meet a guy at a bar, you’re nothing but a whore. The real men aren’t where you are, so get the fuck out.

It seems that good people are so rare in this world, and it’s depressing each time I venture out. From time to time my buddies and I will go out, and each night I find myself wanting to be at my apartment with girlfriend, watching TV and eating some nice food. I recommend this to anyone trying to find some sort of peace in their life.

Night life is shitheads and whores.

Shrooms

I went on an adventure last night and the destination was the corners of my own brain. I’ve taken these things before, but last night was magical. I took them with my cousin who I’ve known my entire life. I highly recommend taking them with someone that is close to you, especially if you feel your relationship has hit turbulence as of late.

My roommate came home in the middle of our trip and he was more than happy to take us for a ride (we were in no position to operate a motor vehicle). I looked at the same scenery that I have looked at countless times, but this time it was totally different. Words can’t describe how it was different, because these feelings and perceptions were so insane.

I highly recommend grabbing someone that you love and taking some psychotropic mushrooms, atleast once in your life. It’s truly an awesome experience.

Fishing

Just got home after a day of fishing. I’m not an avid fisherman, but I’ve took part in my fair share. I’ve had many frustrating days, cursing at the water and whatnot in hopes the fish would accept my harsh words and take the bait. There was no cursing today, and I caught about a dozen large/small mouth bass.

Let me tell you something fishing. Fuck worms. Fuck rubber bait. Fuck anything that isn’t a shiner. If someone tells you shiners are cheap and using them isn’t really fishing, tell them to fuck themselves with one of your dozen fish you have.

Use shiners (teeny weeny fish, guppies, minnows, etc.)

Love,

Arrin

XBox 360

Playing XBox after work is rewarding. Sitting there, high off my ass, lost in a world of guns and fake death. Sounds anything but enjoyable, but it’s great. If you don’t have an XBox leave your chair right now and go get one. You won’t regret it.

5 Ways to Attract Women

Getting sexy women to want you is easy. Looks are less important than you think. Although controversial, these things work.

5. Brag

Seems like a negative approach but it’s a must. Ensure she knows everything you’re good at because she sure as hell will be looking at what you’re bad at. If you don’t boast she’ll never know why she should bother.

4. Subtlety Compliment

If you just come out and tell her she has nice eyes she’ll think you’re lying in hopes of getting laid, even if you truly mean. Instead, look for cues in casual conversation and try to insert them into the subject material that is already going on. She may pretend she didn’t hear it or the words fell flat, but they have not. When she gets home and looks at herself in the mirror after her shower, she’ll sure as hell be thinking about that guy earlier that briefly mentioned her good looks.

3. Be Rude

Women know men as assholes. So to be a man in her eyes, you have to be an asshole. Sounds crazy, but take a closer look next time you see a hot girl with a current/future mate. I bet he’s an asshole.

2. Talk Sexually at Each Opportunity

Don’t use this approach unless the time is right. Becoming a level 3 sex offender is the opposite of attracting women. Talking about sex makes women think about sex, and in turn gets them horny. And when they pass horny level and reach lust level, who will they think about? You, the guy that put those dirty thoughts in her head. The guy that got her horny.

1. Confidence

Act like you know more than her about everything. Walk like your a man, but not like some tough guy in an old Western movie. She can see any hint of nervousness, so destroy any evidence of your weak side. Approach her like she’s yours and she won’t be able to resist going with you.

There they are. And if these fail on the woman you’re after I can assure you that she’s no woman, just man that had a sex change a long time ago. Go roundup yo’ gals dudes.

For Marijuana Lovers

Music to my ears
Coughing till I see tears
Letting go of today’s sobriety
Along with all my fears

Mama Celeste’s and Ramen Noodles
Eye’s barely open as I enjoy each oodle
More and more THC and with it comedy
Each smiling second belongs to me

Am I wrong for spending time with my bong
Am I wrong for singing this song
No
We’ve all been smoking this stuff far too long

10 Short and Sweet Things

1. Someone that isn’t you falling in public

2. Quickies

3. Bongrips

4. The end of an ice cream cone

5. Childhood

6. Robot Chicken

7. A shot of 151

8. A handjob from an Asian

9. Nick Swardson standup

10. Urinating

Tomorrow’s Barriers

Falling asleep is impossible at times. Silent and motionless as unavoidable thoughts race through your head. The idea of tomorrow puts off sleep, and each second that passes makes peace more unobtainable. The barriers of tomorrow seem impossible to pass, but all there is to do is accept circumstance and ready yourself for the war of tomorrow.

Unreached goals are to be forgotten. Lost battles are to be erased from memory. Negativity is to be locked away and never let out. All you have is what’s in front of you, and all those failures are to the rear. Optimism is the only way out of this dark prison you find yourself in each night.

As you attempt sleep tonight, push the days woes far out of your head and think only of tomorrow’s hope. Appreciate each second that passes as you embrace the love of a warm night’s sleep.